Most Boring Post Yet, Unless the Pain Shows...

If anyone knows anything about me then they know that I HATE TO SHOP! (Love to buy, but HATE to shop.) Well, sitting in the lab, meetings over about 2:00 today and thinking, "what the hell am I doing here?" So went out to brush up the facade. Super stoopid and way true but women have to work it so much harder than men, especially as you get past the mid-life crisis stage for everyone, 'swhere i am. Oh well... that's the TRUTH.

So I head on over to Nordstrom's, yes at the MALL, YUK! And happen to park at the place where me & G. shook hands goodbye as I see it, but enter the mall with reckless abandon.

Again, to anyone who even knows me a smidge, just showing up at the mall is completely unnatural. I can handle some Old Navy action, nice stand alone place, in & out fast, easy, get what I want and can't give them my money fast enough (not that I have any but that hasn't seemed to matter to anyone, including me) and get on to Home Depot. Well, and this may be embarrasing, but today I have a "personal shopper". Like for realz. Her name is Rachael and she knows what to bring me. [Maybe I should ask her about men too. And don't get me started on that either, Bob has a girlfriend and I won't be that homewrecker, anyway...] So I am trying to get my look on at work for a promotion and it makes it easier to wake up and go, only problem is that a shirt costs $350, yet what you gonna do? Probably buy the $175 matching pants and some panties for around $40? I'll never admit to it, so there!

Must say that I did get a few pieces that are full of light and beauty and MAGIC, and that's something that I have never found at "cheap" places, unless you count Goodwill, just not wanting to spend TIME there right now.

So I guess it comes down to this really, how do I know if I'm becoming the person who I don't want to be? I drive a tourist car, in a tourist town, and shop during the day at a touristy mall, listening to San Diego memories in Stoopid and Sublime reggae all the way...

Wait, was I complaining? I've always believed that living fun is good, I suppose NOW that it is FUN, yet perhaps that's not enough. I have to live cleaner and WITH PURPOSE. Gotta find my purpose. Guess I'll buy that Steve Martin DVD and watch it as much as Men In Black, Galaxy Quest, and Austin Powers, and have to throw in Roxanne, The Butcher's Wife and K-Pax (ok ,so I admit to repeated watchings, ughhh!) and see if I can find my TRUE purpose in life. Somehow they must all add up to something I'm supposed to get.

And with any luck find a partner to be REAL friends, with heart & wit. Ahhh, we'll see. I'm ready to meet him I believe, but I may need to still chill after the storm of G. Wow, what was that?!! [The blog only spoke of the essense of the lightening bolt on the iceberg, for my own personal LOYAL reasons.] Best experiencial anaology I have is of a raft at sea after a capsized ship turned loose its captain, a vetran and quite wiley survivor type, into a hurricane of events and emotions taht had no predictable outcome. For better or worse, I happened to board as the storm hit and got left on Gilligan's Island! A 3-hour tour, a 3-hour tour...

Just this one was somehow Moore perfect than the other REAL ones at the MOMENT:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9P-5E_jj4Q

I might have said that I tend to attract pilots and racecar drivers to my Mum :) and she was like all, "why don't you change your profile then?" yeah, i do eHarmony. Because This is the TRUTH and I TRUST silly life to deliver exactly what I need when I need it, then PLAY it out and HOPE for the best. Is that not a good, happy, magical way to live?

Unfortunately there was very little ME in the me & G. He had SO SO much going on that we never really had any opportunity to get close to trusting. Sad in a big way really because both of us throw up walls SO fast that heads spin. And maybe that's not the way to live, don't know.

I need a witty dude, MAGICAL, and sublime> on file somewhere that he must also walk on water, still true yet maybe the definition has changed; oh my gosh! can what you ask for be that literal? or that surreal? AND BOTH at the same time? I have to go find a rock to crawl under and then a plane to fly or likely both in my dreams and kinda midway in my REALz.

"Tea on the floor, one day you'll find out later. "

That's exactly how it feels right now. Sometimes you have questions that you don't want answered; that's hard. (I said hard.) Or is that good? I have know idea so likely time fo me to be a sleepin'.

Out, lovely peeps,

Mox

Another Day Begins

So fortunate to have this forum. Crash time. tears on the keyboard, killer ones, dead ones. G chose another girl over me and we're done.

Tears a sneakin'
fears be peakin'
me love me seekin
smiling & freakin'


I am so desparada.

Really like the doorrs now, dare yah to listen: Soul Kitchen

Panties in a Bunch

"Tell me I'm the anchor of my own assention." REM. The fun associated with being a traveling soul and a earthly being, ha! being. I like BEING. Drove into work today topless and pumped on BEPs Monkey Business, good stuff; no replacement for BEING Stoopid yet adds a girly element that is less harsh on my throat. As obnoxious or more to co-red-light-sitters, but I have always loved the "pumpers" so maybe I'm not so annoying to the people who I am not so annoying to. [oh gosh, Excel would surley give me a cyclical refrence warning on that one!]

Okay, so already know that but still, ugh! FEELINGS are such a challenge for me. Not even the big G. feelings but i have been needing to examine everything now that passion comes in, you know? Scary and not dangerous, me way too stable, ha! But really, I am prided on that. I love irony, stuff dreams are made of. Like ending a sentence in a preposition. Ahh, Dream.

As things are coming in it seems that the next steps for me are a Ferrari and a laptop. Any guesses on which one comes first? Maybe some psychology courses to tide off the student loans in a few months? Dance classes? Jazz then Hip Hop. Oh Go Yo!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WrO6DhrJUQ&mode=related&search=

Smooches y'all,

Mox Out.

Stoopid is Good

Because they never demand anything from you. Just being there is sometimes enough. and singing along, ahhh, have you ever tried? And you really have to subdue all that live. I am gonna be so alone in the back against the wall, head low, no friends, into it> Good. EVERYONE will hate me after this concert. And I say, when I own my own LTJ and they want to fly ion, then we can talk

I am changing jobs. So things will get a bit more serious, if that can be true in a greater sense of new people. That's really all I need. The work is the work, same with different chemicals, they say that I am a Scientist now. Oh. Oh? I read and know of real people who play that title so beautifuly. I hope to come in and upset them all in the passionate way. If I leave anything, I hope to leave it "better". And that is so selfishly defined. A very heartfelt and scary change for me soon. No choice. Need the new people to piss off or just disturb in a good way, my REAL job. Find the passion and inspire. Only thing that I am any good at really.

Tip of the Day:
Trouncing around Oak Flats campgroung and climbing palm trees for the first time may leave your arms a bit bumpy from bites and scrapes but it is still worth going there.

Okay, so obligatory G. updayte? See we date that way, with a y in the middle. Funny, huh?

Probably only reason is that I am so needing to find my passion right now. What the hell am I going to do with this life?!!

See, so selfish. Ughhh! Keep focused on 2011 plan for the MOX. Have I explained? Prob way not, for good reason, NO CLUE! Actually I do have a plan. And the fact that the calander comes to an end in 2012 makes it even more fun to try to actuate. :)

Gonna have to get some. You know, REAL action. REAL life. FLOW.

Discipline 2007, my motto. Going pretty well given the sidewinds. pretty music, pretty skies, good funny people, what else is there? Serious, yikes, not something I know. Not sure I'm ready or willing to grow up yet.

yeah, life is good.




This will make all the typos okay:

Sent from my Wireless BlackBerry.

Poetry in Motion

Wow! Wow! Wow! and probably an OMG! or twenty-two...

So, yeah, took the Littles to the skatepark wit da G. The usual for me, hangin' Sublime or Stoopid on the side of the concrete. Holy Fajoly, G knows how to skate! I hope he never does that again, I could barely watch (I said barely); cool top-o-da-ridge tricks and ramps 9' tall, he just runs at them. I would never admit it but i love the times he pops up out of the bowl right in front of me, board flying (yet controlled), yikes! and yum! Have I mentioned how sweet his eyes are? That's all I see; good thing, can't bare to watch him crash down the 10-year old again or scuff and slide the west wall, ouch!

Crazy people, love them all. This dude like G, looks like him a too:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_1Y8UoLIu4

Picking up a couple of clearance cool new decks for the kids on Saturday and maybe a pad or two and then back to our nice and safe skatepark.

I am completely mesmerized by now, right now, if "now" is this millisecond to next 24 hours, about all I can know, hmmm, know even tho know that that's no different.

Everyone asleep, fishtank buzzing and a dripping nicely, cool blue hum of the bluetooth G buying for me. I am looking to be that aweful old person: techno-mucho-antiphobe+ ugh>

really, keep up! adapt or die. Is it okay if I drool on my shirt while contemplating our reason for existance? Or in my regard, perhaps it is mandatory, the drooling.

I have to snooze, Roosevely Dam area

Lay-er

Deba

I Said He's a Skater Boy, Said See You Later Boy

Me & Littles getting into the hip skater scene. I be da Poser, nice fat Vans, barely laced... Oh the humanity! The people have been super cool to we newbies I must say, and watching the gentlemen dance to Sublime simply blows my mind, quite beautiful really. I even get a heart-on when I hear the slapping decks in the background over a cell phone, too nice.

I'm pretty sure that my oldest just stuck a piece of balogna on my back, not really sure, didn't look but it was a smidge wet and cold and felt pretty good, you know just how bologna feels but my only concern is that we are heading to the park right now and what if I have a chunk of balogna on my back? Will it look like I'm peeling as it dries? I'm a bit tan so it may simply look like a piece of bologna stuck to my back. Is that concidered cool at the skate park? Oh well, kids in car, suppose it's time to find out...

My bro out shopping for a car, he's filming from the back seat actually, no idea who's driving.

http://www.youtube.com:80/watch?v=enTtPBRVmHw

Man I love youtube!

Me & G good, I freak, he tells me to chill, I chill, we happy. :)

Later,
Mox

These post in order i guess

so there's a new old one, damn TIME! Back one or two entries. Eeeee gad! April crazies seem to be calming into the May blooms, we'll see...

Oh my, fun! Still need somebody.

Doppleganging, done that at least once! Feels good to fly and then fall back into your body and awake with a start in the exact same position you dreamed you fell back into your bed, hmmm... just a messin' wit da energy, that's all. It happens. G's got all his bulbs blowing in the house right now, I told him that turning them out is a lot easier than turning them on, say a street lamp or row of highway lights, much harder. But that is my crazy thinking

http://groups.google.com/group/ParanormalGhostSociety/browse_thread/thread/59c87c2ba5deb62a/bb60162317f6a840?q=monk&rnum=9&_done=%2Fgroup%2FParanormalGhostSociety%2Fbrowse_thread%2Fthread%2F59c87c2ba5deb62a%2Fbb60162317f6a840%3Fq%3Dmonk%26rnum%3D9

Back to "reality":

Life is delicious, not always what you would expect and always WAY more than you need. Satisfying at the core, sometimes leaving you wanting more...

and that is good.

Me a bit sad today, no particular reason, the Body Worlds, the family talk, the sweet kids, the G. strain, the wish no bloody<>>>

G's so good at putting the chill in the air. And I am so good at asking him to do so. Mucho mucho bueno for both!

K. So where were we last? Tears & fears? No not there now. He tossed a couple of Einstein quotes, me a few Walden and we're kosher. That is about what it takes for us. Did I mention that we see each other for 4 hours on Sunday only? That is our hole (i said hole) impossible realtionship.

He's thinking about going into Sales, anyone out there besides G need a microscope? Good ones, like for realz.

Here's why he's qualified, boyfriend and friend (or models in their likeness):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlu6cyIqxB8&NR=1


Not sure I... !!! Yeh! my ringtone! If anyone can tell me how to get it on T-Mobile, Bandelero, by yes, Stoopid. pretty, pretty twiddlilies of guitar, want to hear that sound EVERY day.

Go here sometime:

http://www.theonion.com/content/

Oh man, life is good. I just need to chill. :)

Mox

Walden, Man This Feels a Bit Full Circle

I actually wrote this maybe 2 weeks ago but didn"t publish. Rather than trying to re-read (ugh no!) and reason through WHY i didn't publish at the TIME, I am just going to send it on into daylight, so there! Smooches, Mox.

Anyone remember Walden? Got any email Walden shit? Like page 141 and 159? Think it is Thoreau, the guy that saw the ice and ants and a fire as mesmerizing, enuf for you to live on. he was alone tho, hmmm. I say add ANY second human and his writings would have been horrendously less blissful. Anyone argue that? How about this, add any additional person and add joy, misery, challenge beyond your brain, to every moment of being.

So let's sprinkle this challenge with 5 & 3 a needin'.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrLJ6Saq7u4

yeah, another good(?)